This blog often contains uncomfortable subject matter and occasional sexual content. If you don't want to read about it, empower yourself to close the page.
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\"What a lovely day,\" says the butcher as he raises his arm.
I am at school. I have a cold or allergies or something. And I really should be working on my project for history. But if I work hard, I can finish it in study hall. So whatever.
...I really have nothing to say.
Oh wait! Patch is gone. He left last night. He'll be back in five days. So that's interesting. I'm going to miss talking to him.
Oh yeah... If anyone is reading this, you should head on over to Forum X. It's cool. Needs more members, though. I joined two nights ago and I already have fifty-five posts. And they have a special section that's all about sex. And I typed sexion at first, again. So anyway, Forum X is cool. Go there.
9:13 a.m. - 2004-04-22
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And she would cry, \"Liar, liar!\"
My house smells like lilac. How awesome is that?
So spring is in full bloom and apparently so are my sinuses. I don't really mind, because the temperature today was like, 84 degrees. And I'm not even joking.
Tomorrow's temperature is supposed to be about the same. Which is perfect because I'm going out with AH tomorrow night to look for boys. Because we're just that desperate. Also, it's prom night, so we're determined to have a better time than all the prom-goers. I'm going to wear the one outfit that makes me look attractive. I'm really starting to get fat. The other night I was changing and I saw a side view of myself in the mirror. I was most displeased.
I've been trying to diet the last couple of weeks, but I just get so hungry. Healthy food is never filling. Every day at school I eat a stupid salad for lunch. Normally, I like salad, but not the school's. The lettuce is almost never fresh, and neither are the other toppings. And we don't have anything decent at home. The problem with eating is that once I start, it's hard for me to control myself. I love food. It doesn't seem fair that I have to stop eating all the good stuff in a futile attempt to become attractive.
I'm really starting to question my views on cosmetic surgery. Part of me says it's ridiculous, that people should learn to accept and love themselves, and that society shouldn't put so much emphasis on looks. And then there's this other part that says the only way to really succeed these days is to be attractive. Nobody wants to hire the ugly people, nobody wants to be friends with them, and certainly nobody wants to date them.
On a lighter note, yesterday AH informed me that Cursive is coming to Lawrence on May eleventh! I'm so excited! You can tell I'm excited because I'm using exclamation points! I'm definitely going to go to the concert. If my mom says no, I'll go anyway. Heh. Patch is jealous.
Speaking of Patch, I kind of miss talking to him tonight. He isn't online. I told him I was going to be online tonight, but I was playing the Sims and I lost track of time so maybe he was online and then signed off.
Dude. He just signed on. I am finished with this entry.
10:32 p.m. - 2004-04-16
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The worst is over
I am at school right now. In chemistry. I'm supposed to be researching Pierre Curie. Ha. Now maybe somebody will search for Pierre Curie and end up here. Because I typed Pierre Curie. Ha ha, losers.
AH gave me The Ugly Organ today for my birthday. I was really upset because I'd gotten into a fight with MLS before I left for school, and then when I saw AH she gave me the CD and I was so happy I had to go cry in the bathroom. Which was weird because I'm not sure if it was all happy; some of it may have been left over from the fight with MLS. But now I have my CD and I've been in a good mood ever since. AH rocks.
Blargh. I still have thirty minutes left before school is out. The good news, though, is that I get to go straight home today instead of staying after and working on my Broadcast Journalism project. I really hate that class. And I'm glad I don't have to walk because I'm tired today; plus, I have to bring my math book home tonight and I don't like walking home with books in my bag. I could handle it if it was only a few blocks, but my back gets tired after walking the entire mile.
Wow, I'm boring. But that doesn't matter because apparently people enjoy reading this. If I remember correctly, I've had 18 hits since I installed the counter. Some of those are probably from me checking from school, though. Still, I didn't think people knew this page existed.
Today was kind of weird. In seminar I was talking to Nik from Thailand for quite a while. She is so sweet. Then the teacher asked us to show around a potential new student. Her name is Hannah and she's moving here from Baltimore in June. She'll be a freshman next year. It was really weird because I had never shown around a new student before, and Nik doesn't know much English, and we're both pretty shy... Hannah probably thought we were either stupid or lunatics. Well, she probably only thought I was a lunatic. I saw Officer W and I said something stupid like, "And that's a cop!" Because that's just how cool I am. Anyway, she seemed nice.
Hooray, ten minutes left. Then I can be home and free to do whatever I want for at least two hours. W00t.
I'm cool.
1:56 p.m. - 2004-04-14
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But I deserve more than arrogance
Congratulations, me. I am Member of the Month at The Dolly Fortress. I was all happy when I found out. So go join the Fortress because they obviously have good taste.
Life is boring. My birthday is on Monday. I wanted to do something, maybe get a hotel room, maybe go to Worlds of Fun, but nobody else wanted to do that. In my frustration, I realized that I really don't have any friends. The person I feel closest to is Patch, and I've never even met him.
I really wish I could meet him, though. Patch is amazing. He always manages to make me feel better when I'm... whatever I am. I can't even tell angry apart from sad anymore.
But that doesn't matter tonight because right now I'm just bored. I'm sitting in the dark because my dad's an asshole and refuses to turn on the light. If he wants to watch TV in the dark, fine, but why can't he do that in his room?
Seriously, there is no reason for him to be a part of this family. He just sleeps here and eats our food. He doesn't do anything to help us except for occasionally mowing the lawn. He is not a father. He doesn't even discipline my sisters. He babies them, especially BRS. I know my mom doesn't like him. Maybe even hates him. I've tried asking her why she hasn't divorced him, but she always finds some way to avoid answering.
Bleh.
10:03 p.m. - 2004-04-10
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