This blog often contains uncomfortable subject matter and occasional sexual content. If you don't want to read about it, empower yourself to close the page.
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You're in my web now
Hey it is only two days until Christmas. I typed CXHristmas. You should not type with gloves on.
I have not talked to Patch all day and that makes me sad. And maybe a little worried. Because what if he did not sign on because something happened? I worry about that sometimes. Probably he was just busy though.
Today should have been better than it was! My dad didn't work so my sisters stayed home. And today was my first day off my period, so I could have used my vibrator properly. But that did not work out. It was still an okay day, though!
Hey, my dad is gross.
10:36 p.m. - 2004-12-23
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It's the most wonderful time of the year
Seriously, it is!
Today was a very good day. It was only a half day because we only had two finals to finish. My finals were government and English, and I think I did all right on both of them. I should pass English now that I've turned my paper in.
The government final was easy so everyone finished fairly early. I was talking to JoP and I finally asked him about THAm. He said he's single! He is going to casually mention to THam that he knows a girl who's interested in him. So now all I have to do is talk to him! Which I am planning on doing after winter break.
Hey guess what! My dad is home. He always has to be home on my day off. It's the law or something. So now I have to go in my room and eat things and not damage my hearing from his loud TV.
1:40 p.m. - 2004-12-22
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I could sure use a vacation...
...from this bullshit three-ring circus sideshow of freaks.
Yeah, those are Tool lyrics. I didn't want to make the entry title all long so I just continued here.
Anyway. I am going crazy. Everyone is bored except for my mom, who is really stressed out. MLS and BRS are tired and so they are trying to entertain themselves by fighting. My dad is so energized from sleeping all the time that he gets bored and starts pestering people. And everyone is being really loud.
And I'm pissed off because I started my period this morning and I am always really bitchy during that time of the month.
You know what? I was going to write this huge entry about being angry but now I forgot what I was planning to write. I forget things a lot.
So I will give an update on other things like school. Finals are next week! That is stressful. Monday I have my psychology and fashion finals, Tuesday is math and advanced word processing, and Wednesday is government and English. I'm really worried about math and government. I just switched into government a few weeks ago. How am I supposed to know everything on the final?
I still have not talked to THam. I want to ask JoP or DH or someone about him, but I don't want word getting around that I am interested in Tim and I don't know if I can trust them. Probably I can trust JoP more than DH. Maybe I'll talk to him on Monday?
And then what do I do if JoP tells me he doesn't have a girlfriend? I can't just walk up to THam and be like "Hey I don't know you at all so let's have a conversation!" I'm thinking maybe I can say something like "I think you're attractive and I'd like to get to know you," and give him my phone number. Is that cheesy? I think probably it is.
HEY maybe I can get NS to ask JoP! That way she can just say she knows someone who's interested. But I don't know about that. Because maybe she might tell JoP it's me, and then JoP will tell THam, and then THam will think I'm way too insecure because I didn't ask him myself, which is true, I am insecure.
I am overanalyzing this way too much. I should just talk to him.
9:16 p.m. - 2004-12-18
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Nothing is real but pain now
I am very stressed out lately. Especially today. It's my fault though. It usually is. I need to stop procrastinating. Must remember to write that on my to-do list later.
Maybe that's what I ought to do. Start a to-do list. Then I can check the list to make sure I still haven't done anything. Really though, I think maybe I will start a list.
I have a shitload of homework due in English, as well as some psychology homework that was due last week but I forgot to do. In English I have a Canterbury Tales character project due (my character is the merchant) as well as a summary of some essay about a girl's relationship with her father. Not only that, but I have to get started on my Anglo-Saxon project that I'm working on with Libby, and I still have to finish my senior paper. I hate English so much.
And I haven't even showered tonight! I can't shower because I have to finish my homework. I cannot go to school tomorrow. My hair is all gross and so is my skin and I'm tired and cranky and I need a hug. I just don't want to be around people tomorrow. I don't want them to look at me.
I am going to have to fake sick. I can't face anyone tomorrow.
9:29 p.m. - 2004-12-12
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