This blog often contains uncomfortable subject matter and occasional sexual content. If you don't want to read about it, empower yourself to close the page. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Interested? Interesting... Last night EH and AP (and I) got "white girl wasted" again, and they had another "AP I'm into you," "Well, too bad EH because I'm not into you," conversation. She fell asleep, he came out to drink more (or as AP put it, "get drunk about it!"). I came out to eat some cheese and drink water, and he started telling me how hard it is, and how he hates his life, and I asked if he wanted a hug. I needed one too, after fretting about BK. So we hugged, and goodness, that boy gives phenomenal hugs. Reminds me of JBeg, but then JBeg was also 5'6" like EH, and also did martial arts, so they basically have the same body type and strength. He talked about AP a lot, about how hard he has to work to seem normal with his asperger's, about various other things. He came into my room to smoke because he didn't want to wake AP and I don't let him smoke in the living room on account of my cat's asthma. He'd cheered up by then and was taking hash oil hits out of his new oil rig, checking my computer specs because he really wants me to start playing this online game with him. He said it was something we could do "as roomies", which is ADORABLE. He kind of swung back and forth between bummed and normal, which is to be expected. During one of the bummed periods, he mentioned that when he met me, he was "sort of interested," but that he couldn't complicate the room mate arrangement. I asked if he meant romantically interested, and he said it was kind of complicated. He said I'm "not stupid, not ugly, not overweight..." He did not say smart, pretty, thin. So, I guess I'm not the things he doesn't want, but I'm not the things he does want either? Ha. I said, "I mean, you're cute... I admit to being dismayed when I met you, because you can't fuck your room mate," and he laughed. Ha... Why do I feel like neither of us should have disclosed this information? And that he might try to replace AP with me as his new unavailable woman to pine for when she moves to Wyoming? Though, I doubt he'd ever pine for me the way he does for her, so maybe that's not the right term. Oh well. I'm not too worried about it. Might cause some interesting sexual tension, but I think we'll be cool. Dude is basically a couple of steps away from being a sociopath. The asperger's makes him not feel emotions in the same way as other people, he says, and he doesn't naturally pick up on social cues. It's something he's had to be trained to do, so he is very calculated in a lot of ways. He has very disturbing thoughts and I do not doubt that he could be capable of carrying out a murder if he thought it was necessary. He's kind of scary, in that regard. I can never fully trust him for that reason. I wouldn't try to date him, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't fuck him, if we weren't room mates. So yeah, interesting night, for sure. When he went to bed (with AP, because despite being a self-proclaimed sadist that boy seems to love punishing himself) I asked if I could have another hug. "I don't get enough of those," I said. He seemed happy to oblige, and god damn, does that boy ever give fucking satisfying hugs. Nice to know I can ask him for that if I'm ever having a bad day. 12:32 p.m. - 2014-01-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||