This blog often contains uncomfortable subject matter and occasional sexual content. If you don't want to read about it, empower yourself to close the page. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me, me, me I wish that I didn't have to always make everything be about me, at least in my head. I hate that I sit at work and think those people whispering just out of earshot must be talking about me, I hate overhearing the word "she" and how my ears always perk up. I sit here in my room trying to hear EH and AP across the hall, imagining that one of these days I'll catch AP talking shit on me, wondering if, when she does talk shit, EH will defend me or not. I know that people have better things to do than spend every waking minute badmouthing me, but I can't help but imagine that must be what they're doing anyway. It's incredibly self-centered and neurotic. Oh, also, I have therapy tomorrow. And I had today and yesterday off work. I was supposed to call and schedule a doctor's appointment to get a prescription for antidepressant meds on one of my days off. I got scared and blew it off. So, that's a thing I get to tell my therapist tomorrow. Also, I've been drinking a lot more often than usual lately. I'd say a couple of times a week, possibly up to four within the past seven days, although like I said I've been off work. I've been smoking way more than usual, too. I have been handling time alone with my thoughts poorly lately, and can't seem to be left alone without having serious crying fits. And honestly, I think I've been drinking to make AP more tolerable. 11:38 p.m. - 2014-01-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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