This blog often contains uncomfortable subject matter and occasional sexual content. If you don't want to read about it, empower yourself to close the page. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I forgot how to adult again. I have been smoking weed every day, looking at porn again, and playing the Sims for five hour stretches or longer. I always turn to my "addictions" all at the same time when I get depressed, and then they fuel the apathy, keep the depression getting worse. The litterbox hasn't been changed in about a week, so the cat's pooping on the floor again. I'm letting the dishes pile up, but I guess that's not really anything out of the ordinary. I moved three months ago, and I'm still not unpacked. Basically what I'm saying, is I'm not functioning much nowadays. I still get out and see my family most weekends, and see JK several nights a week. KO and I hang out every once in a while on weekends, always to drink. I don't have any other friends anymore, really. I've lost touch with another group. I think there's still time to get back in touch with SD, BS, KC, RM, and KK. But the clock's ticking. Today I called in sick to work and used the last of my sick pay, because I "wasn't feeling well," I told work. Because of my cramps, I told JK. And that was partially true. They were so bad this morning, and have been off and on throughout the day, that even my ankles ached. But honestly, I just didn't want to go. I needed a day at home. I didn't want all the stress of work, PLUS the added worry that my productivity's even lower because of the cramps and fatigue and all the bathroom trips. I slept until close to eleven, stayed high all day (using cramps as an excuse - I needed it for the pain relief, you see), spent hours playing the Sims and dicking around on the internet, then felt guilty around 7:30 or so. So I washed all the dishes, hung up all of my winter clothes, put away my summer clothes, gathered all my wrinkled clothes to be ironed at some point, put all my dirty clothes in the hamper, and unpacked three boxes in the process. My room looks a lot better. The boxes and clutter have been paralyzing me lately. I want to get it under control soon. I need to take a break from the Sims, anyway. I have this powerful urge to do some bead loom weaving lately. I think when I get everything put away and get my supplies sorted, and have a more relaxing space, it will be easier to get started on projects. On the plus side, I've been letting my cats into my room lately, and they've started to cuddle (with each other!!) on the bed. They even groomed each other yesterday. I let A sleep on my bed at night. She doesn't move from her spot all night. It's kind of nice. So I have that to look forward to each night. 11:30 p.m. - 2014-11-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||