This blog often contains uncomfortable subject matter and occasional sexual content. If you don't want to read about it, empower yourself to close the page. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (No title) God damn, I love talking about myself. 52 CONFESSIONS 1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? 2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? 3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? 4. Do you take compliments well? 5. Do you play Sudoku? 6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? 7. Do you like nipple rings? 8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? 9. What was your favorite game as a kid? 10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? 11. Would you ever date someone that made you cry? 12. Any songs make you cry? 13. Are you continuing your education? 14. Do you know how to shoot a gun? 15. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you save? 16. How often do you read books? 17. Do you think more about the past, present or future? 18. Favorite children's book? 19. What color are your eyes? 20. How tall are you? 21. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? 22. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? 23. Where was the farthest place you traveled? 24. Do you like mustard? 25. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? 26. Do you look like your mom or dad? 27. How long does it take you in the shower? 28. Can you do splits? 29. What movie do you want to see right now? 30. What did you do for New Year's? 31. Do you think The Grudge was scary? 32. Do you own a camera phone? 33. Was your mom a cheerleader? 34. What's the last letter of your middle name? 35. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? 36. Do you like care bears? 37. What do you buy at the Movies? 38. Do you know how to play poker? 39.Do you wear your seatbelt? 40. What do you wear to sleep? 41. Is your tongue pierced? 42. Do you like Liver and Onions? 43. Are you in love? 44. Do you like funny or serious people better? 45. Ever been to L.A.? 46. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? 47. What do you and your parents fight about the most? 48. Are you a gullible person? 49. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? 50. If you could have any job what would it be? 51. Are you easy to get along with? 52. What is your favorite time of day?
I don't really know why I still use this blog. The only person who ever had the URL for it is MD, and I'm pretty sure he abandoned blogger a long time ago. Still though, I can't bring myself to delete it. 5:36 p.m. - 2007-04-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (No title) "you can�t wake up Autolux- Sugarless Sometimes I feel like I'm defective as a person. 1:00 a.m. - 2007-03-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (No title) I told Anne at work today that I'm bi. It's the first person at work who I've openly spoken to about it. I've hinted at it, I guess. On my Myspace page it says I'm bi, and I never changed it when I friended my coworkers, so I guess if they were paying enough attention they would have noticed, but if so, nobody's said anything about it. I wouldn't have denied it if anyone asked, though. But anyway, back to Anne. She was telling me about how the people at Hobby Lobby made her feel really uncomfortable when she was dating this girl and they went into the store. She said she couldn't even hold hands with her there without feeling like everyone was going to freak out on her. I was like, "I didn't know you were into girls," and she said "Yeah, I'm bi." And I said, "Me too. I mean don't go spreading it around or anything, though." And I can't figure out why I said that. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality. I don't know why I don't want people from work to know about it. They'd all be cool with it, except maybe AC, who seems like she might secretly be a little homophobic, but she'd still be okay with me, I think. I don't know. I try to tell myself it's because I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable. Or because girls are stupid and think that if I'm bisexual, it means I like all girls, not just a select few. Or because when you come out people treat you differently, not necessarily worse, but differently. They think a compliment might imply something more. And I don't want to look like I'm just doing it for attention, like people thought I was in high school because I was too open about it. I don't know. It's all of that but really I think I'm just confused. Maybe I'm not as bisexual as I thought I was. I don't want to misrepresent myself. I mean, I'm attracted to girls, that's not the issue. The issue, I guess, is the extent of my attraction to girls compared to the extent of my attraction to guys. I have only really had the desire to date maybe three or four girls. I've had tons of crushes on girls, but couldn't imagine myself dating them. And I don't know if I could be physical with a girl. I think that's more because I'm not confident, though, and because the idea of having sex with a girl is so foreign to me because I've never done it before. Or am I just making excuses? Am I really not that attracted to girls, and I'm trying to cover for it because I've already told so many people I'm bisexual? I don't know. I don't think so. I really am significantly more attracted to females than most women are, but I think on that scale of homosexuality that I might actually be a 2, maybe a 2.5, instead of the 3 that I previously thought I was. It shouldn't be a big deal. I shouldn't try to label myself like that. I don't know why I'm dwelling on it so much. Still though, I am proud of myself for telling Anne. 7:53 p.m. - 2007-02-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (No title) I hate myself. I just want to be normal. 11:38 p.m. - 2007-02-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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