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"Crazy bitches"

I get so pissed off. So pissed off at the various men who put down women for being what they deem possessive, controlling, nagging, demanding... just for insisting on being treated with love and respect and consideration.

I checked the Craigslists "Rants and Raves" for my town. A woman asked if it was a lie of omission for, when asked what he did last night, a man to tell his girlfriend that he watched a movie with his friends, but leave out the part about going out drinking until 2:00 after the movie. Naturally, several men attacked her, implied that she was a "crazy bitch" asking "leading questions".

"What did you do last night?" means "What did you do last night?" Are we supposed to ask about every specific thing you could have possibly done? What makes us a crazier bitch, asking "What did you do last night?" and expecting a full answer, or asking "Name every single person you were with at any given time last night, because you will leave specific people out on purpose if I don't ask. What time did you leave, and what time did you arrive at your destination, because if I don't ask this you could leave large gaps of time unaccounted for. Did you stop at the store for cigarettes? Did you stop to smoke a blunt with the neighbors? Did you flirt with a pretty girl at any point last night? Did you sleep with a pretty girl? Did you sleep with an ugly girl? Did you go to a bar? Did you go to a party? Did you go to both a bar and a party? Did you sleep on a friend's floor? Specifically, did you sleep on John's floor, Jim's floor, Joe's floor, Jenny's floor, James's floor?"

BK hated the questions like "What did you end up doing last night?" Or "Why didn't you make it home until daylight?" Or "Why didn't you call to check in?" He turned it all against me. I can't know what he was doing? Why did he get so defiant about being expected to tell me, if he wasn't up to something he knew I'd have a problem with? He said my questions were "too vague." So if I started asking more specific questions, as in, "Did you do this specific thing with these specific people during this specific time frame at this specific place?" then he would say I was "accusing" him. Plus, if you ask a specific yes/no question, it frees the asked person up to respond with a simple "No," and leave out even more activities that the asker may find questionable.

To clarify,
I did not have a problem with him drinking to the point of intoxication while I was not with him.
I did not have a problem with him going from one party to a different, unplanned party at another location.
I did not have a problem with him starting out at a friend's house playing video games, then going out to a bar.
I did not have a problem with him staying out until the bars closed.
I did not have a problem with him going to a friend's house for several hours after the bars closed.
I did not have a problem with him falling asleep on KC's floor that one time, though he will claim that I had a problem with this because he believed I was threatened by her.
I did not, to an extent, have a problem with him hanging out with members of the opposite sex, even one on one, even when they're single, on occasion, as long as it doesn't get excessive.

I did most, if not all of these things, while we were together. And I know that I wasn't doing anything wrong or malicious to our relationship during those times. But you know what else I did? I called. Or texted. To tell him what I was up to. So he wouldn't be waiting around wondering when I'd be home. So he wouldn't worry, even though he said he wasn't the type to worry. And if I wasn't able to call, or forgot to call, or even if I had called, when I saw him next, I told him all about what I'd been up to. I never made him have to resort to grilling me, or read between the lines, or wonder if I was leaving anything out.

I did have a problem with him staying out past daylight, sometimes until late afternoon the next day, before he'd get in touch.
And acting defensive when I wanted to know what he was doing that prevented him from coming home, from calling to let me know what to expect, or if he's even safe.
And for turning it back around on me, telling me I'm a crazy, unreasonable girlfriend for needing to know these things, for not being able to just let him disappear into the night without a word.
And being willing to make time for everyone except me.
And for resenting that I had the audacity to, as his girlfriend, expect him to make time for me.
And for expecting me to just put my daily activites on hold in hopes that he would make a brief appearance at some point, for some small amount of time this evening. And that he might even use this charitable trip to the home base to pay attention to me, instead of to his "esoteric research" or to some other project or an insane, hours-long food preparation/consumption task, before falling asleep for the night - Could this be the night we finally have sex again?!

"I shouldn't have to explain my every activity and whereabouts at all time."
No, you shouldn't, but if you aren't doing anything sketchy or something that hurts me, is it so hard to just recap what you've been up to?

Don't call us crazy when you make us this way with emotional abuse, neglect, and half-truths. Men, if your girlfriends, fiances, wives frequently stayed out all night without calling, wouldn't you want to know why? If they were hesitant or downright refused to tell you what they did, where they went, who they were with, or why they ended up somewhere different (or with someone different) than they had initially told you they'd be, you wouldn't be suspicious?

2:52 p.m. - 2014-07-03

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